The post title has absolutely nothing to do with the content seeing as how P and I hung out for quite a few months before actually "dating" -- whatever dating means since it seems to defy definition in this weird internet-based day and age -- but it's coming on slow and steady over the stereo at Baker & Cook, while I sit here writing this post with little to no point and hanging with my best man and favourite four legged friend. It's slow evenings like this that I most enjoy.
Yesterday evening, I had the pleasure of celebrating a friend's 31st birthday, and indulging in some majorly amazing Thai food -- who knew Ee-Sarn was so good? And all the tiny revelations and observations over the course of the evening (and later into the night at Tanjong Beach Club) got me thinking about my twenties (the late ones) and a couple of things came to mind... please excuse the very rambly nature of this post, after dinner we hit up TBC for Full Steam Ahead, so my mind is not in the best of places right now (age, this is what it does, it makes a moderate night out compromise the next day)
There is life - a lot of it - even after this supposed "golden" age. I used to think my 20s were meant for fun, after which I'd have to "settle down," "get a stable job," "pop out some babies" ... i.e. be incredibly unfun. Not anymore. The more you grow, the more you realise that age is merely a number, and what you do at the different stages is entirely up to you.
The barometer for success should be happiness. It's awful, but I think peeps in their 20s are particularly susceptible to this -- the idea that If I haven't achieved this or that or some other thing that someone else has, then I must have failed at life. W R O N G . So maybe so-and-so is making more $$$ , or drives a nicer car, or takes dreamier vacations, or is in a super functional they're-so-cute-together-you-wanna-kill-yourself kind of relationship... Does it matter? Does that tell you how happy they are? Not really. Benchmarks don't apply to happiness, and life should always be a matter of how much you're enjoying it. You'll never enjoy it if you're always trying to measure up to others.
There is love, a lot of it, and it's possible to find it even after you've passed 30. And sometimes it's better to wait till you're sure and certain of what you want before taking the plunge. Women in my age group (a lot of them anyway) tend to think there's an expiry date stamped on their forehead (the dreaded three-oh), and while I won't go so far as to say this isn't a widely held societal concept, the tradeoff is this: settle for someone you kinda maybe get along with, or wait for something truly amazing.
Do what you love, or at least do something you enjoy, don't stay in that soulless 9to5 just because everyone else is, just because everyone else is doesn't make it the best option, or the right choice. Make the right choice for yourself. Even if that means leaving the industry you've been in since the start of your career for a whole new world.
Life's a marathon, not a sprint. The journey won't be over just because you hit three-oh.