No prizes for guessing that this next post is about my precious pooch, Pebbles. She’s a grand old lady (turns 10 this year which makes her 70 years old in dog years) though she certainly doesn’t show it, a true classy dame in her own doggy-like way.
If you’ve hung around the pair of us enough, you’ll understand our undying devotion to each other – she’s outlasted all my boyfriends, knows to take the right side of the bed (though she sometimes finds herself at the foot of it), and always looks excited to see me (even if I’ve only stepped out for 15 minutes). Oh yeah, and she loves me unconditionally regardless of my wretched ways. As for her undying devotion to me? Well, I feed her. (you see? So easy to please! Unlike cats.)
I swear having a dog is like having a kid but better. Think about it, no evil emo teenage years to deal with, no ungrateful brat talking back, no expensive college education to pay for… The one thing that dogs have got going for them is this sort of arrested development where they stay cute, cuddly and child-like forever.
Having a dog also gives you a pretty good indication of what you’ll be like as a parent. Not following my leap of logic? Well, if you give me half a chance, chances are, I’ll be waxing lyrical about the momentous feats my four legged friend is able to achieve (like peeing in the shower instead of on the carpet when she can’t get out of my room in time to make it to the lawn). I invest a lot of time trying to change the minds of doubting Thomases and non-dog people as to why dogs, mine in particular, are so superior. In future, I imagine I won’t have many single friends or friends with no children as I’ll drive them away with my endless drivel about my remarkable 2 year old whose every achievement (like not pooping themselves) is akin to winning a Nobel prize of sorts.
Thanks to Pebbles, I’m also well aware that I’m going to be a very strict parent. P does not understand my adamant refusal to give Pebbles treats just because she can “paw” or “sit” or “lie down” or “play dead” (we’re still working on this one) on command. I tell him that love and cuddles should be enough. Which is why he sneaks her treats whenever I’m not looking (you see what kind of parent he’s going to be?) If my kid wants a prize for getting As in school, I’ll give them that very annoying response of how an A is a prize in itself (the real prize is that I’ll foot the bill for their exorbitant American education but they wouldn’t understand that at age 9).
The term “man’s best friend” was apparently coined sometime in the 1870s in a courtroom in Warrensburg, Missouri (thanks Wiki!) George Graham Vest was representing a farmer in a trial who was trying to sue for damages done when the farmer’s neighbor shot his dog, Old Drum (don’t you love that name?!?)
Dear old Georgie declared that "The one absolutely unselfish friend that a man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him and the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous is his dog."
And it’s true! Hachikō and Hawkeye are good examples of loyalty to the very end. You’ll never get your damn cat to collapse in a pile of heart break when you die. Remember what happened to Michelle Pfeiffer in Batman?
But most of all having a dog is great because they’re an incredible companion to come home to :) So there you go, lonely hearts, I’ve found you a solution to those long, lonely nights.
I’m thinking of throwing Pebs a birthday party – she’s never had one and I think maybe 10 is a good year to finally get something together. The only problem is that she doesn’t like her doggy-friends, so it’s basically going to be a people party with Pebbles as the star of the evening.
If you’re invited, you’re expected to bring her a present. No joke. She wouldn't mind a new pillow to sleep on (this chevron stripe piece would match my room decor), or some treats (bacon flavoured is best), and we're toying with the idea of getting her a little life jacket from Paws Aboard. She just got a fresh supply of shampoo and doggy deodorant (yeah, they make this stuff) from Pet Head (excellent stuff, makes her smell like apples) so she's set on the beauty front (yeah I know, my dog has nicer products than I do). But most of all, she'd love an entire day dedicated to her good little self with lots of love and cuddles.
Told you, crazy parent in the making.